January 29, 2008
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Teen movies
by Jordyn Kimelheim, a junior at Central Bucks East High School
As much as I enjoy pretentious foreign films with subtitles (shout out to my homie Jean-Luc Godard), my all-time favorite genre would have to be the frequently dumb, but occasionally sublime teen movie.
I’ve chosen to honor the genre in memory of Heath Ledger, the very pretty star of high school classic "10 Things About You." It didn’t make the list, but Heath, you will be missed.
- "Heathers":
Possibly the greatest movie of all time. "Heathers" is a pointed reaction to the soppy, preachy John Hughes films that dominated the '80s. The Jock and the Geek and the Stoner and the Goth and the Popular Girl are not going to come together and learn a valuable lesson about friendship (until detention is over, of course, when they never hang out again). They’re going to kill each other. High school is not just mean, it’s violent, and "Heathers" is the brilliant black comedy that recognizes this fact. Also, Christian Slater is hot, even if he and Winona Ryder are murdering their classmates.
- "Rebel Without a Cause":
The first great teen movie. James Dean moves to a new town, gets into trouble with the police, meets a girl, meets a boy (watch the movie and just try to tell me Plato isn’t into him), plays "chicken" with his hot rod and wears a sweet red jacket.
- "Bring it On":
I’ve discussed my love for this movie and its unnecessary sequels enough throughout this Web site, so I’ll just leave it at this: "These are not spirit fingers. These are spirit fingers!"
- "Clueless":
Honestly, this movie just makes me feel really good inside. Cher Horowitz tries so hard to do the right thing and make everyone around her happy. It’s the rare high school film where the popular girl isn’t a bitch, just a little, well, clueless.
- "Mean Girls":
Lindsay Lohan pulls off the best performance of her career (well, not counting when she played twins in "The Parent Trap") in this unfortunately realistic yet completely hilarious portrait of the pointlessness of most teenage "drama."
- "Hairspray":
The remake was good and everything, but the better picture is the 1988 John Waters movie, which features edgier humor and possibly a better soundtrack ('60s novelty dance tunes totally pwn musical theater).
- "Saved!":
Getting pregnant by your gay boyfriend is awkward, especially when you’re an uber religious teen girl who’s supposed to be against homosexuality, teen sex and out of wedlock pregnancy. "Saved!" is a razor sharp satire of scarily religious, overly judgmental Christians.
- "Cruel Intentions":
The best thing about "Cruel Intentions" is that you can feel really literary when you watch it because it's based off the classic French novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses (full admision: I only read the book because of this movie). Also worth watching to see Eurotrashy Ryan Phillipe wear tight sweaters and do a pitch perfect John Malkovich impersonation.
- "Carrie":
The moral of most horror films is simple: Don’t pick on the weird kids because they will come to get you. "The Ring," "Friday the 13th" ... there are tons of examples. The genius of "Carrie" is in transporting these familiar tropes to a high school setting, specifically to that most important of rituals, the prom. And now we all know that you'd better not pour pig’s blood on that freaky girl or she will use her magical powers to kill you, your friends and John Travolta.
- "Juno":
It may be too new for its legacy to be properly evaluated, but I think "Juno" is good enough to make the list. The big deal around "Juno" seems to be that it's super indie and quirky, and people either think it's really sincere and realistic or precious and not realistic at all. But most people are looking at it through the wrong lens. It's not just an indie movie, a la "Little Miss Sunshine" or "Napoleon Dynamite" or any Wes Anderson flick (by indie, I mean the aesthetic of sweater vests and Belle and Sebastian and general self-satisfied twee-ness, not distribution status). It's also a great teen movie that nicely shows what happens to an articulate yet fairly normal teenage girl when she gets pregnant. As an articulate, yet fairly normal teenage girl, I can relate.
